


down the road (we'll meet again)

by babybluebells



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Akaashi Keiji-centric, Character Study, Gen, Introspection, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-03
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-14 11:48:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29170587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/babybluebells/pseuds/babybluebells
Summary: He knew this was coming. With them being a year apart, Bokuto was always going to leave before him. He was always going to graduate first and start making his dreams a reality, to stand on a stage that Keiji was never meant for. Knowing that fact, however, didn’t make this any easier. In his head, it was a concept he understood in theory. Hearing it out loud from Bokuto himself made itreal.Akaashi comes to terms with the fact that Bokuto is leaving soon.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji & Bokuto Koutarou, Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou
Comments: 2
Kudos: 17





	down the road (we'll meet again)

**Author's Note:**

> Hi!
> 
> I'm back at it again, projecting more of my feelings onto poor Akaashi. Why do I keep doing this to him? I love him, I swear I do.
> 
> Anyway! I hope you enjoy!

_“I got an offer.”_

The words are still echoing in Keiji’s head hours later when he’s lying in the dark, staring up at the ceiling but not really seeing anything. Sleep isn’t coming easy to him tonight. His mind is stuck in an endless loop as he replays the conversation he had with Bokuto earlier that day over and over. 

_“I’m going to play for a team in Osaka.”_

He knew this was coming. With them being a year apart, Bokuto was always going to leave before him. He was always going to graduate first and start making his dreams a reality, to stand on a stage that Keiji was never meant for. Knowing that fact, however, didn’t make this any easier. In his head, it was a concept he understood in theory. Hearing it out loud from Bokuto himself made it _real_. 

The excitement came first. How could it not, when Bokuto was grinning from ear to ear as he told Keiji the good news? Bokuto’s happiness has always been contagious, and Keiji has always been weak for him. 

But after he’d processed it a bit more, other emotions started to surface as well, the feelings that he’d rather keep locked away. That ugly, selfish part of him that he’s always fighting to keep hidden.

The part of him that’s hurting because Bokuto is going to leave him all alone.

Bokuto became such a big part of Keiji’s life over the last two years, even before they’d officially met each other. He was Keiji’s guiding light, illuminating the path he should take for high school when Keiji was stuck at a crossroads. He contributed to Keiji’s newfound passion for volleyball. 

Once Keiji started attending Fukurodani, Bokuto became a valuable teammate. His ace. A precious friend, maybe even his _best friend_ , that he never wanted to let go of. Someone who brought out the best in him. Someone he cared for, and who cared for him in return. Someone who looked out for him when he couldn’t look out for himself.

Bokuto became the most important person in Keiji’s life. 

Keiji looked forward to each new day because it meant he would get to see Bokuto again. He looked forward to every conversation they would have, to the meals they would eat together, to staying late after practice and getting to spend more time with him. Bokuto became the highlight of his day. 

Somehow, Bokuto managed to brighten even the dullest parts of Keiji’s life. He made everything more exciting. He shone like a star, spreading his enthusiasm for anything and everything wherever he went. Naturally, since Keiji couldn’t help falling into orbit around him, he was affected by it the most. He gained a new appreciation for things he hadn’t thought to spare a second glance to before.

Generally speaking, not a lot of things are going to change for him next year. Sure, he may be taking on a new role as captain for the volleyball club, but he’ll still be going to school and he’ll still be playing volleyball. 

But he won’t be doing any of those things with Bokuto anymore. 

A wave of shame and guilt washes over him when he realizes that there’s a small part of him that feels betrayed, somehow. Despite knowing that this was always how it was going to be, he can’t help the bitterness he feels at Bokuto’s departure. 

After all, Bokuto had promised to stay by Keiji’s side no matter what. 

_Don’t leave me alone_ , he wants to say. _Don’t leave me behind_. 

He squashes that feeling down the best he can. He’s not presumptuous enough to believe that Bokuto would stay if he asked him to. His own selfish desires are nowhere near as important as Bokuto’s future and his happiness. 

Keiji is, always has been, and always will be Bokuto’s biggest supporter. Above all else, he wants Bokuto to be successful, he wants him to be _happy_. He wants to be there for him. 

( _“I’m so happy for you, Bokuto-san,”_ he’d said with the widest grin on his face, and he meant it, even as he felt something crack inside him.)

But he can’t help wondering what will become of them now. Bokuto is moving on to something greater. He’s starting a new life in a new place. He’ll meet new people, make new friends and find better players who can draw out his full potential. Players on a much higher level than Keiji could ever hope to reach. 

Keiji has enough faith not to assume that Bokuto will forget about him altogether. He’s sure that Bokuto will at least make an attempt to stay in touch, and Keiji probably couldn’t get rid of him even if he tried. But he won’t hold the same significance in Bokuto’s life as he does now.

He won’t be setting for Bokuto anymore. He won’t see him every day at school and at practice anymore. With the distance between them, he’ll be lucky if they see each other more than a few times a year. Without all that, what does Keiji have to offer? There are plenty of other people who can give Bokuto all that and more, and once Bokuto finds those people Keiji will probably take a back seat to them because they’re so much _better_ than he could ever be. 

Bokuto doesn’t need Keiji to shine. He never has. He’s perfectly capable of standing on his own, and he’ll find people who can bring him to even greater heights than Keiji ever could. 

Bokuto deserves so much more than what Keiji can give him. 

His first instinct is to pull back, to distance himself from Bokuto. He’s always had difficulty maintaining friendships anyway. Maybe if he closes himself off, then it won’t hurt so much when he and Bokuto eventually drift apart. 

But he’s also aware that it’s stupid and irrational and completely unfair to Bokuto. Keiji cherishes their relationship, their connection, everything that already exists between them. He’d much rather try to maintain that for as long as he can instead of ruining it prematurely. 

He thinks he would regret it so much more if he didn’t at least try, too. What kind of friend would he be if he couldn’t even do that much?

He’ll take whatever he can get. Anything would be better than not having Bokuto in his life at all.

( _“I’ll miss you, Akaashi. You know that, right?”_ Bokuto had told him this, voice taking on an uncharacteristic softness. Keiji could almost believe it even sounded the slightest bit fond, but he’s never been one to get his hopes up. 

_“I’ll miss you too, Bokuto-san. So much.”_ He had more he wanted to say, but for once he couldn’t quite find the words. So he settled for not saying any of it, instead clinging to Bokuto when he pulled Keiji in for a hug. Bokuto had held on just as tightly and for a moment Keiji let himself think that things would be okay between them, even with the distance.)

They still have some time before the third-years graduate. Keiji decides that he’s going to make the most of that time and cherish it once it ends.

He and Bokuto may be taking different paths from here on out, but that doesn’t mean their paths will never cross again. Bokuto may be going ahead, but that doesn’t mean Keiji is being left behind, not if he keeps moving forward too. 

They’ll walk their own paths and meet again on the other side, as individuals who can stand on their own but choose to be together.

He wants to make that choice.

After all, he’s always chosen Bokuto.

( _“Hey, Akaashi…”_ Bokuto had started, pulling back just enough to look Keiji in the eye. Keiji held his breath. 

And then Bokuto smiled at him, wide and dazzling and Keiji couldn’t look away even if he wanted to. 

_“Will you toss to me? Just for a little bit?”_

Keiji couldn’t help the breathless laugh that escaped him because _really, why would he have ever expected anything else?_

_“Always, Bokuto-san.”_ )

Keiji realizes with a start that he’s beginning to tear up. His chest is tight and his hands are trembling. All these feelings are starting to overwhelm him, threatening to drown him and he struggles to shove them all back down where they belong. 

There’s nobody around. He’s alone in his room. It’s been a long day and it’s late and he’s so, so tired. 

So for one night, he’ll give in. He’ll let these emotions wash over him and drag him under. He’ll mourn for all that was and all that will never be. 

Tonight, he’ll let himself break. Tomorrow, he’ll pick up the pieces and patch them together the best he can.

Tomorrow, he’ll walk again.

**Author's Note:**

> He'll be okay. _They'll_ be okay.
> 
> Thanks for reading! 
> 
> I'm on twitter [@babybluebells](https://twitter.com/babybluebells) if you want to come say hi and/or watch me lose my mind about anything BokuAka/Fukurodani/Haikyuu-related!


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